Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
