I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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