I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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