I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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