This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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