I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
