We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
