I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
