maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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