She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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