I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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