how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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