did you get engaged???
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
