just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
