you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize