is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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