Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
