dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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