If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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