she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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