like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
