is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
