just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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