Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
