butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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