I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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