hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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