he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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