Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I look better un-naked...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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