I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
