I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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