Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
