Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
