You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
