I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize