Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
