Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Holy sore nipples Batman
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
