I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
