ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
