I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
