just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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