So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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