Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize