ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
