i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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