have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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