I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
