Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
