matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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