shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
