i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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