i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
