Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what day is it and did you see me today?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
