All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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