I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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