Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize