You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
