all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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