How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
