too bad you live with your parents still
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
