this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
