I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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