Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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